You may have found your way here because you have a young, Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child. Perhaps your child has had a diagnosis for a while or maybe you are just learning about the term. Or, you may not know if your child is PDA, and have stumbled upon this page because you have tried everything under the sun to help and support your child, but all the traditional parenting approaches and behavioral strategies simply haven’t worked. You are in the right place.
If you are like us, you have felt isolated, disheartened and confused along your parenting journey. Perhaps you have asked yourself why the same strategies your peers use or your parents and professionals suggest, not only don't work with your child, but have made things worse. You may even feel like a terrible parent. We did.
But we now know we’re not bad parents. Neither are you. We created this space to help other parents realize that you aren’t alone, you aren't crazy, and there are moments of joy, light and wonder along the path of parenting a young PDA child. It is the resource we wished had existed when we were in our most difficult moments with our children.
Here in this space, we hope to share our experiences, both hard and hopeful, with honesty and humor, and most importantly, without judgement.
We are not clinicians, doctors, or therapists.
We are a trained Waldorf educator and an academic researcher who have spent the last six years dedicated to understanding our children, when the professionals had no idea what was going on and when no diagnosis quite fit. As mothers, we have dug our families out of despair. (We know that feeling, too.) We, like you, have also wondered how it could possibly be this hard to parent and support a young child. We understand the day-to-day difficulty of creating a low-demand lifestyle, using non-violence in response to (what looks like) rage and defiance, and giving our bodies to the sensory needs of our kids just so that they can stay regulated.
We won’t offer a silver bullet here. There isn’t one.
Rather, we hope to offer you and your family validation, support, and the resources we have compiled so you can find the strength to parent your child as they are. We hope to be another step on your path towards tuning out the nonsense and affirming, even for yourself, that your child isn’t “bad,” isn’t a lost cause, and certainly doesn’t need another sticker chart.
Rather, with the right support - your support - their challenges can serve as guideposts to build deeply trusting, loving relationships.
We are with you. Your kids are great. Let’s do this.